#a) this blog is for archiving stuff I want to see later (whether that's memes or fandom stuff or references or art or my own thoughts) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

russellius · 10 months ago

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Hi!

I want to organise my tumbrl better for the season to come and you tags system seems really interesting!

Would you be okay to explain it a bit? So I can take inspiration from it?

It's okay if you don't, of course!

hello!! i would, gladly! i'm/it's not *that* organized unfortunately, i'm always like... "i should have a tag for that", and then.. i never do it 😭 but i have sort of settled on a system at least for the races, that i can follow.

on race weekends i use three tags, one for the location (eg. #hungary, #spain), one for the year ofc (eg. #24) and a combined one, so i can track that one specific race weekend (eg. #hun24, #esp24). this way if i want to search stuff from silverstone, spain etc, i can do it and it'll bring up everything from that place, regardless of the year. and same for the year, if i want to see stuff from say 2021, i'll just search #21.

(into the main tags, so year and location i put the more.. proper posts, while the specific race weekend tags tend to have more random posts in them as well.. it's just. the vibes from my side, whether i will use all three tags or not 😭)

edit: i just remembered that during the grand prix i also use the tumblr tag of the gp. so for instance during the spanish gp, that'd be #spanish gp 2024.

all years have a tag, but for the childhood years, which i consider until the end of the karting years (so in george's case that's 2013) i mostly use #ch. 2018 and 2017 are the only ones where i use the full year, because if you use #18 and #17 as tags the post won't show up in the search system...

i have some other tags too, for this winter break i was using #wb23 and #wb24, for the summer break i had #sb23. now for the pre-season, starting with today i settled on #prs24. for the pre-season test in bahrain, i will use both #testing and #testing24. i've been tempted to use a non-race weekend tag, or a tag for official photoshoots, so... maybe starting with this season i'll do that too! i'm lazy tho, because i always think that through the archive i will find everything i want to 😭...

some other tags that i have are #*m (any "major" post made my be) and #*p (proper photos), but these are more just for myself. looking back on things it'd have been easier to start tagging reblogs, instead of my own posts, but it kinda stuck from my previous blog... for my gifs, edits i use #*mine. i have some other tags too, #q for quotes and interviews, #j for the occasional memes, and #r for any random posts from my side.

i also made separate tags for george's firsts, so first win, podium, pole, williams point :')

it's a bit of a mess probably from the outside, but i'll be honest, i never really expect people to browse these tags a lot. it'd be cool if they would tho :)...

so yeah, i hope i could help a little bit! 🤍 i think you just gotta pick a system you like and then if you want to tag something specific, don't think much about it, just start tagging it right away, because you'll regret it later, that you've put it off for so long

#answered

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beverlychills · 2 years ago

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Introductory Post

PLEASE at least skim through the tags. Navigating this autism castle I've built may get difficult if you don't.

Also see below: Guide for takedown requests

Hi there, call me Taffy! (Any pronouns)

I'm a neurodivergent fella obsessed with Lethal League. I'm also obsessed with archiving things, and I have a dedicated personal server where I collect all the LLB fanart I can.

For a while I've been wanting to give other people easy access to all this old and new content, but I don't want to invite people to the server, and booru-making is closed right now, so this—an account made to reblog every LLB post I can find—is the next best option.

For now I run this account alone, and my archiving only encompasses things on tumblr, this may change later but I can't say for sure.

I plan to keep this archive going as long as possible.

IMPORTANT STUFF FIRST!

Despite my wants to preserve everything Lethal League, there are some artists I refuse to archive due to personal convictions, or being personally asked not to archive their work.

The amount of these people is presently in the single digits, and probably won't impact the rest of the blog much.

If you want a particular post(s) taken down, or would like to be blacklisted, please DM me. Please note you may have to prove your identity to do this, in whatever way you can (so long as it does not compromise your safety or super-personal information).

If you have a Lethal League post to contribute that I haven't found yet, send me the link. Even things from deactivated accounts can still be preserved if someone else reblogged them. Or I guess if you have a screenshot.

If there's something down the list you don't wanna see, just filter the tag

Warnings: #suggestive Including but not limited to - Discussion of NSFW, off-camera lovemaking, skimpy clothing or poses... whatever you older internet denizens might call "sin." NSFW jokes are judged on a case-by-case basis Overly graphic stuff, minor x adult, or straight up p0rn if there's any left, will not be included in the archive for obvious reasons #thirstposting Any rare case of people getting a bit too excited over a given LLB character. If hypothetically seeing people talk about how much they want to bone their favorite dapper googly eyed fuck wouldn't be your jam, you might wanna filter out this tag. #nudity Tasteful nudity. Think the Statue of David. #blood For when insides become outsides, but it's not straight up gutspill. #feels Because some of us don't wanna deal with angst. #emeto Vom. #eyestrain Ouchie ow oof bright colors. ^ #aberration Chromatic aberration #gore #bugs #death #eye contact #dereality #drugs #weed #body horror #loud #flashing

Please note; Despite my headcanons, character interactions will be judged through the LLB story at face value. This means ships involving Switch will not be counted as minor x adult, because he is a robot, 5 is only how long he's been manufactured, and his mental age is not entirely clear (beyond him obviously not having the mind of a toddler). This also means things like Raptor x Switch will still be archived, since although some headcanon them to be found brothers, this is not canonically confirmed.

Content type: #art Including but not limited to - Drawings, physical crafts, music, etc. #fanfic Fanfiction, whether linked offsite or posted directly to tumblr. #animation Encompasses gifs, animatics, animation memes, PMVs, the works. #modding Stuff like retexturing, 3D model editing, or even Mung Daal in Room 21 #gameplay #shitpost #textpost #cosplay

Characters: #raptor #switch #candyman #dice #jet #doombox #grid #nitro #latch #sonata #dust #ashes #toxic #dummy #mc inferno #safety league

Unlockables: #ballhead #strait jacket #zoot suit #l.2 full mecha #domino #dynamic #detective nitro #jumper cabler #safety weapon #chain engine #iron grip

DLC: #galileo #firefighter max pressure #volt (Neopolis Devastator) #ivory puppet killer #insectoid loneriding mechranger #stereo overdrive #shining gold winner #gigahertz visualizer x #nuclear nourishment #late stage illmatic #heavyduty r evolution #master of the mountain

Fandom culture: #headcanon #theory #review #ship #ship neg #oc x canon #oc #au #askblog #humanized #crossover #fusion

Archived posts will not be tagged as #ship unless the OP states so, or it is very explicitly intended to be ship art—flirting and kissing and stuff. Ships will be tagged as the involved characters' names in alphabetical order, in lieu of affectionate shipnames. This is to avoid creating extra things for you poor soul to memorize. Also, negative content about any given ship will have "neg" tacked onto the end. ❌ #candylatch ✅ #candyman x latch 🔘 #candyman x latch neg

For OCs, search their name, and for specific artists, search their blog url. ie: #cue #klayfruit Furthermore, fanon interpretations of LLB characters may be tagged like this: #henry #candyman

OC x canon shipnames will not be tagged, despite how few there are in retrospect, because I think doing that would drive me nuts.

If two OCs happen to have the same name, the name will be followed up with the creator's username depending on which OC is being referred to. This also applies if an OC name overlaps with a warning tag;

#ember sampleusername - #ember gridsbignaturals #bugs sampleusername

Other: #official Involving a Team Reptile account or one of its developers. Including but not limited to: Dev logs, headcanons from individual team members, outdated lore, threads involving them on other websites, etc. #tim #dion #yinyin #andy #kittomatic #sem

#merch Official merchandise designs and such #deactivated OP's blog is hacked or deactivated. If the URL was changed, the old URL may be tagged; for the sake of preserving the era it was posted, and so people can more easily find things if they know an old username but not the new one. #[year] Year something was posted. ie: #2015 #mod taffy

Posts with captions like "not tagging this" or things that seem personal will probably not be archived unless the OP says it's okay

#mod taffy

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ms-demeanor · 2 years ago

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It's almost entirely sideblogs. Basically it started as a way to keep posts that I wanted to delete from main for various reasons but didn't want to lose the writing - maybe I'd had an argument two weeks ago and wanted a record of it but didn't want to continually see it in my notes, or maybe a post that I wasn't pleased with blew up or something but I didn't want to make it impossible to find for people who liked it. It started with one where I could reblog spooky/cute/funny stuff, and then I started a generic (as in let me put all of my fandoms into this one box) fandom sideblog, and then it got into really specific fandom sideblogs, and then it got into stuff like "hey were should I put this exercise/weight discussion" or "hey where should I put these actual on-the-ground resources so people can find them easily" and now pretty much any time I have something that's a good but limited idea that I think people should be able to reference easily, I make a sideblog. You can tell how old my sideblogs are by their specificity of purpose; @yourfaveshillsnfts is only for talking about famous people pushing nfts whereas @compusever is about infosec and answering people's hardware questions and phones and internet culture and computer aesthetic stuff. Compusever is much older, which is why it's less specific, which makes it hard for people to search if they're looking for a particular write-up of password managers I did. I have specific sideblogs for things like "information and memes about tumblr's titty ban and section 230" and "memes and conversations about covid 19 that it seems like it would be a good idea to archive" and "yelling about atlas shrugged," and *occasionally* I will make a post directly on a sideblog and reblog it to main to get it some reach, but usually it goes the opposite direction. I think most of the sideblogs have fewer than 100 followers, and a lot of them have fewer than 100 posts, but if I end up falling into a community where it's obvious that I'm reblogging a lot on a sideblog I might DM from the sideblog but let people know "hey my main is actually Ms-D" (hi FNM fandom!) or I'll just stay silent.

So pretty much everything goes to my main at first and then a week or a month later i'll go back through my archive and siphon stuff off to sideblogs to keep my main at least *vaguely* searchable and useable. It doesn't always work! But it does make it a lot easier to figure out "hey where did I put that ADHD resource?" or "didn't I reblog a reference for drawing floors like that?" and where it went if i did.

Sometimes I *do* reblog to the incorrect blog, in which case I have a heart attack and delete it as quickly as possible, but that's usually because it's some embarrassing fandom thing that I don't want to associate with this account, so I've just gotten into the habit of always checking which blog I'm reblogging from any time I share anything, regardless of whether i'm on the app or on desktop.

So for the most part, people get the unadulterated firehose of whatever i'm interested in and stuff gets filtered off later in big cleaning binges, but sometimes it goes directly to the side because nobody needs to see that I've been reblogging the nastiest venom porn you can still find on tumblr for four hours.

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heraldofzaun · 4 years ago

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This is my “Viktor has never been a stereotypical evil villain, you guys are just mean” post.

Hi. Well. That says it all, really, but I guess I should elaborate. I think that Viktor has always been a victim of society [cue Joker meme], it’s just that what society has shifted over the course of his lore update.

With new lore, it’s very clearly Piltover casting him out for his (in my opinion, pretty unethical from the get-go) ideas on free will/worker safety/etc. and that subsequently making him worse. But with his previous lore - what I run off of on this blog - I’ve seen a lot of commentary about how he’s always just been “evil”, or that his motivations weren’t defined, etc. And while I can agree that his old lore certainly has less of a word count (5x less, actually) and doesn’t make his motives crystal-clear, it’s just not true that his original incarnation was just a villainous scientist. (Nor is it true that he was perceived as one by his old fans!) It takes a little bit of looking at Blitzcrank’s lore, and the Journal of Justice (hey, remember that?) to see, but it’s there... So, here goes. I’m sorry for how long this ended up being (2k words!) - it ended up touching on a lot more than just Viktor.

Viktor’s always been stolen from. (Except for Blitzcrank’s newest lores, which contradict Viktor’s new lore, which... That’s a topic for another time.) It’s always been Professor Stanwick Pididly (now Professor Stanwick) who’s done the stealing - originally, he was a professor at Zaun’s “prestigious College of Techmaturgy”. In new lore, he’s a professor at an unnamed academy in Piltover. I think the best way to track the new/old changes is bullet-points, rather than writing this all out. Tumblr doesn’t allow T-charts, sadly.

Professor Pididly in old lore:

Zaunite professor.

Stole Blitzcrank (well, the accolades for developing Blitz’s sentience) from Viktor and Viktor’s doctoral team. (While this is headcanon, I’ve always assumed that Stanwick was Viktor’s (and Viktor’s team’s) doctoral advisor. I can’t quite imagine how else he’d pull off stealing a group project like that.) Viktor subsequently withdrew from the college and “barricaded himself in his private laboratory”. (Which is his house in my personal take, because really - what sort of doctoral student can afford a lab?)

Blitzcrank’s case reached Zaun’s legal system, resulting in a “legal maelstrom” (Blitz’s original lore) that ended with Stanwick presumably being legally declared Blitzcrank’s creator.

Blitzcrank’s lore states that “most now know the truth” in regards to who his creator is. This is important for later, so stick that in your back pocket.

Pididly is referred to as “Professor Pididly” in JoJ issues 3, 18, and 23, which are given the dates of August of 20CLE, March of 21 CLE, and June of 21 CLE.

Side note: According to Orianna’s judgment, which is dated May of 21 CLE - stay with me here, it’ll make sense - Blitzcrank entered the League “years before”. As League at this time was mostly running in time with the real world, this makes sense - Blitzcrank was a 2009 champion and Orianna was released in 2011. Judgments seem to be dated to a few days before a champion’s release, in order to tie with the lore - one had to be “Judged” before made a champion... but I’m rambling. Anyways, years before, back pocket.

Is referred to as “Chairman Pididly” in JoJ issue 27, dated August of 21 CLE. “Chairman” seems to be a title given to those in political power in Zaun. Another example is Chairman Magnus Dunderson, Zaun’s “Chief Executive” (issue 5). (I could’ve sworn that there is canonically a “Board of Executives” in old lore Zaun, but scrubbing through the JoJ on the wiki hasn’t turned it up - just Blitzcrank’s lore mentioning the “Council of Zaun”. Maybe it was fanon? Anyways.) Back pocket!

Also stole some work from Viktor in order to revive Urgot. Urgot’s revival was reported on in issue 3 of the JoJ, and the confirmation that it was from Viktor’s work is in Viktor’s original lore.

Professor Stanwick (Pididly? I feel like they ditched his last name because it was “too silly”, also because Stanwick sounds British-adjacent anyways and that’s Piltover’s “thing” - but anyways) in new lore:

Piltovian professor.

Stole Blitzcrank from Viktor alone, who made the robot to help clean up a specific chemical spill. Viktor went to Zaun for a few weeks and came back to find that Stanwick had “held a symposium on Blitzcrank and presented Viktor's research as his own”. Viktor subsequently continued on his studies, culminating with him later being expelled for “violating basic human dignity”. Viktor returns to a laboratory that he had in Zaun.

Blitzcrank’s case is solely a university matter. Viktor petitions Jayce to help support his claim, but Jayce is Jayce and doesn’t help out. The “matter [is] decided in Professor Stanwick’s favor”.

Blitzcrank’s lore doesn’t really say anything about if people know that Viktor made him (them, technically, but Riot doesn’t get to make the robot non-binary), but I guess it’s implied in the 3rd iteration? (That would be the first new one, after the IoW retcon making most champions’ 2nd lores being the same lore with any reference to the titular League of Legends removed.) He works with Viktor in that one. It doesn’t fit with Viktor’s updated lore at all, actually, because it mentions Stanwick absolutely zero times. (A post for another day...)

Has nothing to do with Urgot, since Urgot’s different now.

So, the general plot of “professor rips off a student” is there, it’s just got an added layer of “professor rips off a foreign/out-group student” in new lore to tie into the overarching idea of Piltover exploiting Zaun. (Is Zaun considered foreign? Yes? No? It’s sort of textually implied sometimes to be another city, but can it actually be when it’s physically underneath Piltover? Is the metaphor in new lore a class thing, then? Is it both? Am I supposed to take Viktor’s Russian accent into account when reading this text? I don’t know.) Anyways, so far so... same, in the broad strokes. Unless Viktor’s villainy in old lore is specifically because someone from his city ripped him off, I don’t know how you can compare new/old lore and say that old painted him as a villain.

But what about the everything else I put there? We’re getting there - that’s part of Viktor’s in-universe stuff. I’m taking a quick detour out of universe, to Jayce’s very first lore...

Which had Viktor stealing a techmaturgical device from Jayce. While I can’t cite this, sadly - thank you, Riot deleting the old forums and me not having the patience to look through archives at the moment - there was a backlash around this on the forums. Why would Viktor, a character who’d been stolen from, steal in turn? So Jayce’s second lore, the one that most people were familiar with before the new lore update, was made. Now Viktor stole a crystal after trying to partner with Jayce, Jayce was less well-established as an inventor, he had a bit more character... All good things. (Also, this is probably where the new lore direction of them being former college colleagues come from.)

Also, as an aside: this is the first use I can see of crystals specifically being described as arcane power sources... The only other discussion of magical crystals was the Brackern... which was then merged into magical crystals having to be from the Brackern... Which means that...

But anyways! Clearly Viktor fans didn’t see him as a villain in 2012, or at least not one that would victimize others in the same way that he’d been hurt. They made such a fuss about it that Jayce’s lore was changed to paint Viktor more sympathetically! (When’s the last time that there’s been that much backl- oh. It’s Seraphine again. Anyways.) So, again, Viktor’s perception as an evil scientist mostly seems to have come from people who weren’t really familiar with his lore. So... case closed?

Except that I also want to talk about in-universe things! Everything that I told you to put in your back pocket! Because this post is already over a thousand words and I have thrown myself firmly into this vortex.

Viktor’s victimization by society [Joker meme] is actually probably worse in old lore, which is a fact that I think has been pretty overlooked. While new lore Viktor gets kicked back down to Zaun and gets his work stolen in academia - with Stanwick presumably never being questioned on whether or not he made Blitzcrank, because there’s that whole “Zaunites are bad” thread that is both in and out of universe... Old lore Viktor sure does get it worse, although I admit that this requires some interpretation of canon. His thing with Blitzcrank was, again, a “legal maelstrom” - and with Blitzcrank being considered a Zaunite celebrity before this court case, it seems relatively easy/logical to infer that this maelstrom was a very public case.

So all of Zaun gets to see Viktor crash and burn in court. I’d say that’s a bit worse than just academia seeing it, as is the case in new lore.

And then there’s Blitzcrank’s lore flat-out saying that “most now know the truth” about who made him. (While this lore does predate Viktor’s existence - isn’t it odd to think about a Blitzcrank made by a faceless team of generic doctoral students, rather than Viktor... and a faceless team of generic doctoral students? - I see no reason not to take it as canonical for Viktor’s original lore. There’d been minor lore touchups before, so if Riot wanted Viktor’s creation of Blitzcrank to be an unknown... they could have edited Blitzcrank’s lore.) But Viktor’s still on the fringes, and nothing in his lore (which, again, was written years after Blitzcrank’s) seems to acknowledge that by the time he enters the League we have confirmation, date-wise, that it’s been years since the truth came out. (Orianna Judgment, etc.) That’s to say: people knowing that Viktor made Blitzcrank does nothing for him - he gets no apologies or anything like that.

Of course, if you take League lore as happening concurrently and nix the Judgments and the League, I guess that this is tenuous - but working within the framework of when he was released, it seems clear to me that the implication of all this lore is (whether it was intended by Riot to be read this way or not) that no one in Zaun cares that Viktor was stolen from. It’s an open secret. No one’s seeking justice for him. But it gets worse...!

So, it’s generally known that Stanwick didn’t make Blitzcrank by the time that the JoJ is running. And he’s just a professor for most of the run of that part of the lore, until... Issue 27. In which he becomes Chairman Pididly, someone who is now implied to have political power. (I have to assume he gets the position due to the political goodwill from Noxus that his revival of Urgot must have brought Zaun, but that’s just interpretation.) But! Even though most people know that Stanwick didn’t make Blitzcrank - that he stole Blitzcrank - he ends up not losing his university job (he’s still Professor Pididly for most of the JoJ, after all) but... gaining political office!

All of this is to say that Zaun is so crooked that you can have the fact that you stole from someone and ruined their life revealed... and get a promotion to government! You can shatter an idealistic man who had a “hope to better society” and make him into someone like the Machine Herald and face absolutely zero repercussions. I think that that is significantly worse than how new lore Viktor’s victimization by Piltover consisted of an academia-only dispute that left him with just some bitterness... New Viktor was, after all, kicked out of Piltovian academia for ethics violations, not for Blitzcrank.

Everything surrounding old lore Viktor is a bit harder to piece together, since you have to look through a few lores and make a few inferences, which is why I think that people don’t realize exactly how bad he had it... (That and time erasing memories, or people being new to the fandom, or people not being interested in Viktor, or...) But he had it bad, and I’m honestly disappointed that we never got to explore much of Zaun’s particular brand of corporate corruption in canon. Now they’re the perpetual underdogs, both victims and villians, and Riot isn’t quite sure how to write them beyond constant exploitation from Piltover. (Even the chem-barons have taken somewhat of a backseat lately in new lore, from what I’ve seen - Piltover seems to be the primary cause of Zaun’s ills, because the combined region is now an upper city/lower city metaphor about class. The chem-barons just seem to be written as a result of Piltover’s ignoring of Zaun - because Zaun seems to be more of an undercity than a sovereign city or state, but that varies depending on whatever piece of lore you’re reading and... Another post, another time.)

So. TL;DR: Viktor’s always been a character who was victimized by a city, be it Zaun or Piltover. Viktor’s always been a character more complex than just a maniacal villain, although it takes more work to see that in his old lore as compared to his new. (His new pretty much screams “we are trying to make him and Jayce morally grey”, after all.) This victimization is arguably worse in old lore, as it’s implied that he went through a very public legal case that ended with Stanwick taking credit for Blitzcrank. In addition to that, Stanwick’s subsequent shift to politics implies that Zaun is so corrupt that most everyone knowing that he’s a thief isn’t an issue at all. He’s untouchable.

Viktor’s always been the result of an idealistic man being crushed by a society that doesn’t care for him and his dreams. That’s nothing new.

#headcanons | beneath the mask #worldbuilding | a smog shrouded city #//lightly seasoned with 'i have my qualms about new lore' seasoning.#//all quotes are from respective lores. i am not fully citing them because if i use apa format for a league meta post i'll simply expire.#//oh also fun fact ionians are referred to as 'peaceniks' by zaunites in that same JoJ issue i pulled the dunderson info from.#//which is cool because that's somewhat canon info (other than zaun being german for fence and some other vague name choices) that...#//zaun was probably intended to be somewhat eastern european flavored from the getgo. so. hc validation.#//admittedly the nik suffix as it is used there is an english variant borrowed from russian/yiddish so... you could argue against me i guess #//but i think that's a much further stretch than my interpretation. anyways i've rambled more than enough.#//you can tell where i started getting super conversational here + when i stopped caring about if i stuck to 'stanwick' or 'pididly'

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oops-prow-did-it-again · 3 years ago

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I’m back!

So, I kinda quit using this blog a while back. There are some notes about it in my old pinned post and probably on my fanfics, lol, but basically, I felt overwhelmed by fandom and everything going on irl and I crashed. I just withdrew from like, everything. I still logged in on Tumblr but I just liked things to later view them with the boyfriend or laugh at them again myself.

Honestly, it’s not that fun, just doing that, and not really that fair to people who put effort into their posts like art, music, writing, etc., or even just people who are very passionate about a subject and may want it to reach others that are the same. Because I know I’m like that!

But anyway, this is going to be my new pinned post. So! (More under the cut, please keep reading!)

About Me

You can call me Prowess, I’m a FtM transmasc (he/him please)! I use this space to elevate my personal works, such as art or writing, while also occasionally posting about topics I am passionate about. I realized I was trans in 2020 at the age of 19 years old, in the midst of a pandemic and college fallout, so as you can imagine, I’m still riding the rollercoaster of emotions that come with that. I’m also ADHD... so expect some posts about those sort of things.

But that is hardly the focus! I am big on art and writing. While I am mostly obsessed with Pokemon, I am a lover of stories, and so generally, I love most fiction, even the really bad stuff. Along with my Pokemon stuff, you can expect posts involving ARK: Survival Evolved, The Tales of Miraculous Ladybug & Cat Noir, animated movies (Luca, Toy Story, Spirit - you name it, I probably love it), and plenty of other stuff.

While I have too many older posts to go through and try to sort out the unclean tags, going forward, I am going to use these sort of tags: subject (whatever the post is about, for example, Pokemon), characters depicted, media (whether it’s art, writing, animation, or a mix), and any warnings that may need to go with it (for example, cussing when stronger language is involved, or racism if racism is getting discussed, etc). Memes or one-off posts will likely be tagged with simply “memes.” While this is pretty true for most any blog, this is so you know if you need to block certain tags! For example, if you hate Miraculous Ladybug, you’d just blacklist ‘Miraculous.’

I will also reblog a lot of posts asking for help or boosting awareness. I will try not to inundate the blog with these, but as I will likely have to make a post asking for help at some point myself due to unfortunate irl circumstances, I want to pay it forward in advance. These will be tagged with simply “help needed!”

Below are some projects I’m working on + what you can expect from this blog.

Pokemon Retold

By far, my biggest project to date, is Pokemon Retold.

This is an expansive written anthology of all the pokemon mainline games as far as generation 8. Red, Heart of Gold, Omega Ruby, Platinum, Black, Black 2, Y, Ultra Sun, and Sword are all intended to get rewritten and posted on both my FanFiction.Net and Archive of Our Own accounts. I may also post some chapters here, but I admit Tumblr makes that difficult sometimes.

These stories are very personal to me, as I started writing them when I was struggling in college with undiagnosed ADHD, and felt like my life was falling apart and I was alone. I started writing a retelling of Sword, but the more I wrote, the more disappointed in it I felt, so I started writing Black instead and scrapped Sword altogether.

I’ve had some rough road since, but Black is complete, Black 2 is also complete, and Ultra Sun is (mostly) complete (but with plans to be heavily altered), while Red is underway!

WARNING: These stories can get DARK, and I would rather my readers be over 18. They are not dark with the intent to squick out or upset people, however; they are dark with the intention of exploring thoughts and ideas I find too difficult to think about directly. There are more personalized warnings at the beginnings of each story. With that out of the way, please just try and move on if you find yourself disliking a specific story or part of a story of mine... If you want to give constructive criticism, you are more than welcome, but tearing into me and my writing just because you didn’t like something helps nobody. Keep in mind I write these for fun and as a form of self-therapy throughout some of the worst years of my life.

Furthermore, I edit them a lot. And I do mean a lot. My FFN profile acts as a “changelog” for what has changed in the stories over the course of the time they’ve been posted.

Pokemon Retold posts are tagged “Retold.”

My FFN Profile

My AO3 Profile

Pokemon Retold: Black has been added to TVTropes! I honestly don’t even care that this person digs into it a couple of times, I was so incredibly flattered they took the time to do that at all. (But be warned the page does have some spoilers!) I have no idea if you enjoyed the story or not upon reading over that page, kind stranger lol, but I really appreciate that you took the time to do that nonetheless! <3

Creatively Destructive

This incredibly well-titled story is an idea I have for a retelling of Miraculous Ladybug. I know, I know - absolutely never been done before /s

While I know there has got to be a thousand retellings of this show by now, based on just how.... terrible, the writing is, I want to try anyway. Because I genuinely love the premise of the show! I’m just constantly disappointed by how it seems to never go anywhere with its plot or characters.

So, Creatively Destructive will be a fanfic, and when I have more information on it, I’ll post it under the tag “creatively destructive.”

Roleplays

Me and my boyfriend love to RP a lot. From Monster Hunter to Pokemon, we do a lot of different stories. Sometimes, I really get inspired by what we come up together and I want to share it with others! Be it quick art based on a scene from the RP or a quick rundown of what occurred in an RP, you can catch these in the ‘Prow RP’ tags.

Currently, we are having a lot of fun with an RP based on the Hoenn pokemon games that I am sure I’ll be posting about!

I may also be open to RPs with others in the future :> Don’t be offended that I’m not open to them already... I’m just a very easily overstimulated person.

The Ballad of the ARK

ARK: Survival Evolved is a lot of things. It’s an amazing concept, an open-world game where you befriend dinos and fight alongside tribemates against other tribes, or work together to survive the hostile environment. But the true tragedy of this game goes so much deeper than that, and I want to explore that in writing, starting with my story, my experience, and then graduating to where I think the issue primarily stems from.

This strange memoir will be posted under the tags of “Ballad of ARK.”

Commissions

I hope to take commissions for art and writing in the future!

However, I need to figure out the parameters of what I’m willing to draw (and what I can feasibly draw), as well as what I can promise when it comes to writing, not to mention pricing.

That’s not to say I’m not open to ideas though! Feel free to message me/send me asks anyway and we’ll see if we can work something out. :)

Although I am not in a financial disaster just yet, I feel like I am not far from one. This is why I hope to try to build on commissions in the future. I know they will never support me, but I would still like to try to be useful and helpful to some. I currently live with my grandmother, having left my abusive home with my father, and although she generously allows me to live with her for the low cost of merely helping with some electricity and my own food, I struggle to remain abovewater financially due to difficulty finding work (thanks to issues with ADHD and physical problems following a bout with COVID in early January 2021).

If you would like to help anyway, feel free to subscribe to my Patreon, or make a one-time payment via PayPal. I promise no matter what or how much it is, your generosity is greatly appreciated!! <3

My Patreon

My PayPal

My Ko-fi

(Note that my Patreon is... very outdated and needs to be updated. I will do that soon!)

#new day new me!#undeadprowess #I will be changing my url #pokemon retold #retold #pin #creatively destructive #prow rps #ballad of ark #commissions #sketch #art #rb pls! :)#pokemon #pokemon trainer brendan #brendan #pokemon trainer brix #more info on those last tags soon lol

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shadowsong26fic · 5 years ago

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Coming Attractions

It has. It has been a while since I actually did one of these, hasn’t it…

(As a note, I try not to discuss too much…everything IRL right now here (or on my personal blog, though to a lesser extent), mostly because I want this tumblr to be a relatively happy place? …or, at least, the unhappy stuff should be Purely Fictional. So that’s…pretty much the extent of what I’ll say about Stuff here.)

But…yeah, real life has definitely been an Everything Is Happening So Much sort of deal for the past couple months, but stuff has actually been Happening, writing-wise, and a Coming Attractions post seemed in order! As usual, behind the cut is stuff I’ve been working on recently and/or plan to work on over the next month.

Also, I have set up a Discord server (https://discord.gg/puYnXDE) for my writing--basically intended to be an extension/more interactive version of this blog. Feel free to stop by and say hi!

Precipice:

I’m waaaaaaay behind where I want to be, lol. Uh, but I’m hoping to get the last couple chapters of Arc 7 out this month? And then we’ll see what I want to do about Arc 7.5 and Arc 8. Basically, 7.5 is going to be more episodic/self-contained, with a chapter or two for certain Relevant Events that take place between Arc 7 and Arc 8. Mostly to do with Rebels characters (the one I have mostly planned out, if not quite Written yet, involves Kallus and Lavinia meeting just before he’s assigned to Lothal; but then I need to figure out some stuff for Kanan and Ezra, and how to make sure Zeb’s still in position to give Alex the wakeup call he needs…) plus there’s a Sith Apprentice whose entire tenure is covered by this timeskip, lol…

Anyway, I’m still going back and forth on whether to post Arc 7.5 stuff first or post it alongside Arc 8 and/or 9, but we’ll see what gets written.

Other SW Stuff:

I posted a handful of oneshots over the last couple weeks! Written in connection with a prompt game on the SWBB Discord server. The prompts were “Character A kills Character B”, for which I wrote Hera and Thrawn and Zeb and Kallus; and “Character A saves Character B”, for which I wrote Boba Fett and Luke, Han and Hera, and Rex and Ventress. There will probably be more of these in the future, tagged with #discord prompt ficlets. This week’s prompt is poetry, and it has been a million years since I’ve written any so Who Knows if I’ll actually do it, but hey, it’s possible!

Also, my SWBB project for this year, for we are a woven thread; find the strand is up on AO3. ObiAniDala, AU from ROTS; the three of them are separated in the aftermath of Order 66; Obi-Wan runs into Ahsoka, Padme has Sabe and the twins, Anakin meets Caleb Dume; angst with a happy ending.

In other news, I have some work I need/want to get done on our faces like a mirror, and I’m doing a Summer Fic Exchange that I need to actually…figure out what I’m doing and write XD Plus, I’m considering participating in VarykiNovember/Anidala big bang, but haven’t fully committed to signing up yet. In part because time commitments/other stuff I want to work on, in part because I don’t generally do a lot of pairing-focused stuff? My SWBB project mentioned above aside, lol. But even that’s at least as much about the three focal platonic relationships as it is about the OT3? Anyway. Uh, also half the plots I’m coming up with I either don’t think I could finish, don’t think could make for a long enough fic, or would turn into Obianidala instead which is Not The Point, lol. Anyway, we’ll see.

(some Discussions in the past couple days on the SWBB server have made me start wondering if I should maybe start poking at/figuring out what I’ll do for next year now, lol…even though I think I picked the plot for this year’s project later than either of the other two and yet it ended up being the longest by like 20k???? who knows who knows…I might use OFLAM for this?? But I’m not sure.)

Other Stuff:

I did write one original fiction thing this past month! And am hoping/planning to write At Least one more in June!

I also want to finish All Outstanding Prompts from a couple memes I did--one on tumblr like…in January…and one on Dreamwidth back in April. I have…one prompt from the tumblr one, and seven from DW, so We’ll See.

I also really should get back on track with updating my origfic archives, shouldn’t I…

…I think that about sums it up right now? I mean, there’s some noodly bits in my brain because the ATLA fandom has risen from the ashes thanks to Netflix, plus BSG is waking up a little bit so possibly something more will come in one of those universes? But nothing concrete planned as of right now.

What about you guys, what are you working on?

#miscellania #coming attractions #shadowsong writes star wars #shadowsong writes original fiction

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lovenikkilibrary · 6 years ago

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the great, big popnikki contributors post

Greetings from Miraland! Love, the POPNikki Team

That’s all of us. All 30+*. This is the team that’s worked (for a lot of us daily) since May to brainstorm, draft, and bring life to this crazy vision-turned-project.

Now that we’re literally 30 days from Zine launch (and two weeks away from launching Site + our YouTube channel), I want to introduce you to everyone because POPNikki is not just the simple FanZine Project I started out asking fans to join. It’s since become a collective of like-minded creators, and don’t you think you’d like to meet all of us?

*NOTE: Our FanArt Team Co-Lead Kira is technically missing from this group shot, but she’s with us in spirit and despite a busy schedule WILL make an appearance in our Summer Zine after all! ^^ Also not pictured is Site Team’s periidote and IRL Team’s Luna-- also with us in spirit!

Team Leads

POPNikki is divided into three divisions and each has its own subdivs requiring, well, WORK. The following group of Contributors help me keep each sector running smoothly (including a Contributor named Lilly who you’ll meet in the next section!).

The Librarian: Editor-in-Chief of POPNikki Zine and the founder of this operation, I have a toe in every division if I really think about it. But my personal skillset lies in brainstorming, cheerleading, and editing, which is why I head up the FanFic Zine Team and Co-Lead FanVid with Sea. ^^ Follow my blog for LN Resources. I archive them neatly so we can find them all again later ^^

Clow: Site Team Co-Lead, Developer, and Zine Editor (read: my partner-in-crime), Clow is a great collaborator who can take a vision, no matter how messy and turn it somehow into exactly what you need + want. Clow’s creative but modern style (and way of thinking) is reflected in the Site she’s helped design (can’t wait for y’all to join and see! ^^). You’ll want to follow Clow’s blog for all sorts of LN related posts, my faves being the lovely Starry Corridor photos found from all over.

Yoko: Unfortunately Yoko is taking a break from Tumblr, but when Site opens, we’ll update with a way to reach her! Yoko is the other Site Team Co-Lead and Developer whose incredible patience and research skills have helped bring Site to fruition.

Ms. Loki: Ah, Loki... What can I say that you don’t already know? When I can’t find my head or my glasses (which often leads to me consistently uploading the wrong things), Ms. Loki is right there going above and beyond the call of IRL Team Co-Lead. Not only does she manage a group of Contributors (and I swear, most days, me!), but she also finds time to Contribute, herself! Look forward to her art and articles as she’s become a key part of our FanArt and IRL Teams. (And if you’re not already following for ALL OF THE LN THINGS... ^^ Ms. Loki is usually the OP!)

Val: FanArt Team Co-Lead Val has really had to step up this season due to an unexpected scheduling conflict. "Single-handedly” juggling a whole team of artists using a collaborative leadership style, Val has shown not only her skill as an artist but as a leader this term. Follow her art blog for a peek at her versatile art style or her personal blog to reciprocate the support she’s shown to POPNikki this Summer~

Sea: My FanVid Co-Lead and one of our three video editors, Sea is just amazing to work with. Perhaps it’s her eye for beauty (or the fact that she can find the beauty in everything), but every conversation ends in laughter and every problem finds a solution. She’s always ready to cheer our team on, so please do the same for her (and we’ll be sure to link you to her personal YouTube channel after Zine Launch!).

Dayan: IRL Team Co-Lead and Artist, Dayan’s ideas and participation have both played integral parts in the fruition of this project. Dayan almost bursts with creativity and an energy that really keeps you going. Did you know that in addition to her LN Blog, she also has another blog for her art? I’m such a fan of all our Contributors, but there’s something so lovely about Dayan’s style that I can’t help but share every post. I feel so lucky to have her on board, and y’all are lucky too because you won’t have to wait for Zine before seeing some of her work. She’s also been working on a very fun Site Feature that will meet you guys once we launch! ^^

*Kira: FanArt Team Co-Lead (and supposed to be on break for this issue, Kira did a few of the background illustrations for Zine articles I know you are going to LOVE! If you don’t follow her LN blog, you’re missing out on a wealth of .png and background resources.

Site + Social Media Contributors

Lilly: Despite a busy schedule offline this season, our Social Media Manager Lilly still managed to pull off a very special project, complete IRL and FanFic write ups, edit, and head the Social Media subdiv by some miracle over the past few months (thank you so much). Lilly’s eye for detail has been extremely valuable and so when you go to follow her LN blog, be sure to note how you’ll only be getting the good stuff over there ;) You may also get to chat with Lilly at some point if you follow us in her domain-- the POPNikki Tumblr (and soon, our other social media).

Red: Our IRL, Site, and Social Media Contributor, Red, has been such a gift to this project. In Fall, we can’t wait to show you the fun project he’s been working on, but in the meantime, look forward to his Game Guides. Are you counting down the minutes with us? Red can be found here and here on his LN specific blogs!

Royce: Royce recently joined POPNikki but has hit the ground running. Now our go-to for Site graphics, we can’t wait to hear how you like the awesome visuals Royce has whipped up! You may already know to follow his LN blog for only the best Royce RP aesthetics on the block. Blue roses to anyone who does XD (or check out his OCs RP blog)

Clark: Part of our Social Media subdiv and working on a super fun, super secret FanFic project for a future Zine edition (why yes we are thinking about Fall...), Clark’s been a supporter of this project from the get-go. Follow him for fun from a slew of different fandoms (Monster High meets LN, anyone? I’m just sayin’).

periidote: periidote is a Site Team Contributor who will be helping with Site FanPOP Features starting end of Summer/ early Fall! Follow periidote’s LN blog here and get ready for great content from her~

YouTube Contributors

Legs: My go-to video editor in a pinch (whether it’s for advice or for help or to make sense of this vision I had in a dream...), Legs always returns a product above and beyond expectations. July 18th, y’all. Be ready! And in the meantime, follow Legs, for game-related jargon (including but not limited to Love Nikki)

Haley: FanVid Team Contributor and YouTube Channel manager. Haley is always full of great ideas, but when YouTube opens, feel free to drop us comments with even more!

Brittany: FanVid Team + FanFic Team Contributor Brittany is also one who’s always brainstorming. We can’t wait for you to see her tutorials and meet her ideas in Zine when it drops this August!

LittleAvalonia: I’m very excited for what the future holds with an actress like LittleAvalonia on our team. Funny (and having fun), LittleAvalonia brings a new element to LN FanPOP that we can’t wait to share with you.

Witchy: IRL + FanVid Team Contributor, Witchy, is a gem in the POPNikki Contributor pool. Look forward to Halloween (feels so far, I know!) when we debut their sketch(es ^^) and articles. In the meantime, follow Witchy to check out their art and more.

Joltik: Our newest video editor thanks to her enthusiasm and helpfulness after our latest Open Call, Joltik is already hitting the ground running in her new role! Full of ideas and ready to work, I feel so grateful she’s joined our team! ^^ Don’t forget to give her a follow for LN related tips, tricks, and info.

twinklebear: Joining us with awesome content come Fall, twinklebear helps out where needed, particularly in Site Team and of course, here in the FanVid group. ^^

Zine Contributors:

Donsveertje: Donsveertje (known as Beetle to me) is a phenomenal artist who answered a POPNikki Open Call. Happy to help with any project when time allows (and actually working a few zines at the moment!), Beetle has great energy, ideas, and can really bring your vision to the page. The laughs are a blessed bonus. ^^

Fishbone: The more I work with Fishbone, the more I fall in love with her work. An artist who’s willing to try different things (no matter how crazy they sound) until they work, Fishbone is such a dedicated and positive team member. With like a million Tumblr accounts XD (follow them all here and here and here as well!).

ArtisticArmoury: Another Open Call gem, ArtisticArmoury has been so great to work with. Every part of the process is not only well done but also fun as we’ve been having a blast adding even more expression and visual color to the FanFic Feature he’s now a part of. Check out ArtisticArmoury’s art or personal blogs to get a sense of his work.

Inky: Also finding the time between a tight schedule, Inky has jumped into this project as an artist from an Open Call. You may recognize Inky as the artist of that awesome piece re: the doctor. But Inky has another, strictly LN blog that I hope you’re following because it is full of fun LN stuff (like important update infos but also MEMES y’all).

Zemiki: Zemiki is a Feature Artist in the POPNikki Zine Summer Issue. Already known for her great work, Zemiki’s providing several original pieces for fans to enjoy to accompany our second FanFic Feature! Get a feel for her style by following her art or personal blogs.

Astie: IRL Team Contributor Astie has an unstoppable energy that brings life and joy to the POPNikki Team. Look forward to the article Astie has prepared for y’all in Zine this Summer (while we work on finding the link to the Tumblr-- we’ll update you on Site after the launch! ^^).

Roulette: Roulette is such a hardworker for Zine I cannot. Contributing content to both IRL and FanFic Teams, Roulette writes articles and provides Spanish translations for our guides. Give her a follow! (EDITED TO UPDATE: her blog link! Here’s the best account to reach her at~)

Sophie: My writing buddy, I could honestly send all of the virtual hugs to Sophie. Working together on her FanFic Feature story has shown me both her dedication to the game and being a writer-- two of my favorite things in the whole wide world! XD We also share a love of tea (which is besides the point, but still). While you await Zine launch to get a taste of her words, check out her Tumblr and say hi to my hardworking team member (whose mind and articles are split between FanFic and IRL)~

Yasjupe: Another FanFic Team Contributor (and Feature writer), Yas is a writer whose gorgeous ideas flow into gorgeous thoughts and words on paper. I think you’ll truly enjoy the story she’s been working on. Check out her Tumblr while waiting for Zine to drop!

Megaera: After reading a fic by Meg re: Prehistory Lord, I knew she HAD to be a part of POPNikki’s FanFic Team this first issue. Megaera’s Summer Feature does not disappoint, and I count my blessings that I get to work with so many talented writers-- and read their work early, of course ;) Be sure to follow Megaera’s LN blog in the event she posts more fiction! She also has a personal blog you’re welcome to follow.

Rev: For this summer’s issue, IRL Team Rev teamed up with FanVid Team to create a sweet tutorial for you all. Honestly, you’ll be amazed, I think when Zine drops! In future, we might also see articles by this Contributor as Rev is known for helpful guides and great Starry Corridor pics! You can also check out Rev’s personal blog.

Iri: Many of you might recognize Iri for her helpful event guides and suit breakdowns on YouTube. We know her as apart of the team (and seriously, what a joy ^^)! Despite a hectic schedule, Iri has Contributed an article and exclusive interview for you guys this summer. Can you imagine what Fall will bring? If you’re already hype, subscribe to her YouTube channel to hold ya over to Aug. 1st ^^

Contributors Debuting this Fall

Jace-Darkheart: Officially part of FanFic Team as a comic writer and artist, we hope you’ll get to see Darkheart’s work come Fall!

Ile: Though scheduling conflicts mean you won’t be seeing our Artist, Ile’s work this Summer, we hope you can find some in Zine this Fall!

Luna: Though scheduling conflicts mean you won’t be seeing IRL Team Contributor Luna’s work in Zine this Summer, we hope you’ll be able to see her fun article on Site or in Zine by Fall!

Our Team is huge so following everyone might seem like A LOT. But don’t forget that you can follow @popnikkiofficial on Tumblr now to ask questions about the project and officially become part of the POPNikki Community here on Tumblr. In all honesty, y’all already are part of that Community, and I mean, so are we! So if you can’t follow all, here’s the best one! We’ll see your lovely comments and someone will be checking the POPNikki Ask box later this week to answer questions. (And, I mean, I’m always down to fangirl about this project lol!)

To all of the Contributors on this list (and to come), thank you all so much for making this thing happen. ^^

#love nikki #love nikki dress up queen #popnikki #the librarian is grateful #thanks y'all #secret project

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epibiotic · 8 years ago

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I’ve had this damn blog since 2009 so I may as well use it once and a while to get some things off my tiddies.

I feel like I’m coasting through life with no real direction these days. It’s strange, you know, thinking you have your life going the way you want it to then suddenly waking up one day and realising you really don’t.

I’ve been having serious doubts about whether I want to actually become a teacher or not. While I honestly enjoy my placements, I don’t know if I’d be satisfied living it out as my career for the rest of my life. In the same breath, I have no idea what else I want to do as a career. I will finish my post graduate diploma, however who knows whether I’ll end up using it. I’m having a slight crisis about it but I guess we’ll just have to wait until I graduate to deal with that properly.

I haven’t been happy lately, either. My anxiety has been real bad recently and it’s been affecting me hard. I’ve also been having a lot of self-esteem issues which, for the most part, and probably surprisingly, haven’t hugely affected me before in the past. It’s probably a good thing, because its been motivating me in a way to try and lose some weight which, as a fat chick, is frankly pretty good. But it comes with it’s downfalls. My eternal struggle for recognising my own inner beauty (gross) has back-pedalled a bit, due to a few things which I’ll discuss later. I’ve been fat for as long as I can remember, I was never really huge though until after my dad got sick and consequently passed away. It had a massive affect on my mental health and lo and behold, I eat my feelings. In saying that though, my view about myself never changed. I still thought I was cute, and a cool person. Now I’m doubting that for the first time in my life and it’s hard to deal with. I’ll get my big girl pants on and deal with it eventually, but for now, it’s taking its toll.

On a more dumb note, even though it’s still making me unhappy, fuck boys lmao. Both metaphorically and literally. This is gonna be the long part of this post, so get ready.

Before I continue with this part, this is a message to the suspect in question who I know for a fact has a habit of stalking girl’s blog posts: I’m just venting bruh. I haven’t talked to anyone really about this, and I just wanna get my feelings off my chest somewhere that no one in particular is gonna read it. Don’t read into this too much, although you might. I can’t stop you, dude. Just know that I still value your friendship very highly. Just because I liked you a lot doesn’t stop us talking about dumb shit and sending each other stupid memes. Also, I swear to god if you break our snapchat streak, I’ll be pissed. So let’s continue, shall we? It’s gonna be long, so strap yourselves in.

For the first time in my adult life, I had a genuine crush on someone. He was someone who I’d known for about a year or so, he was just an acquaintance you could say, and I never really paid him much attention. In fact, when I first was introduced to him, I actually didn’t like him that much at all. Over time, we saw each other more often and interacted more, I warmed up to him and realised we actually had a lot in common. He became closer to my close group of friends as well, so I started seeing him more regularly. I have a ‘type’, believe it or not, and he falls straight into it, so it was dangerous from the start.

Now, before I go any further with this story, I want you to know that I have a habit of ‘falling’ for people that show any sort of interest in me. That being said, there’s a certain element of total awareness in this, and I brush it off easily. The number of times I’ve had ‘crushes’ on people I was casually hooking up with is too many to count. This didn’t happen here. I fell for this guy, hard, and I couldn’t brush it off for whatever reason. It felt different, it made me feel vulnerable, and I hated it.

There was a turning point where my vague interest developed into an actual crush, though. There was an incident where I was dumb and injured myself, and he looked after me in that moment. I don’t know what it was about that, but I think I saw a different side of him and it was the nail in the coffin. Him squeezing my hand as I bled profusely, and laughing together as he drove me to the doctor to get stitches - that probably had something to do with it. Alas, he had a girlfriend, so I shelved those emotions pretty quickly, although I still glanced at them from time to time. Ten or so months passed and as much as I’d tried to ignore them, they still existed and there was nothing I could do about it. Then, one day, somewhat out of the blue, he says to me, “I broke up with my girlfriend.” In my head, all I was thinking was, “Oh, shit.”

The feelings I’d had put on the shelf fell down and hit me on the head like a sack of shit. All of a sudden I didn’t feel guilty to feel the way I did, yet I still couldn’t do anything about it because frankly, I’m gutless when it comes to relationships and shit. Absolutely no way in hell was I going to approach him, nuh uh. Besides, he’d just come out of a long term relationship, I wouldn’t want to bother him just yet, right? At the same time, he was about to move away and I’d see him less regularly. I was conflicted, but because I’m a pussy, I did nothing about it and just wallowed in my own thoughts. As usual.

A month or so passes, he moves away. I don’t see him, we don’t really talk. I still like him.

The next time I see him, we’re at a Christmas function with friends, it’s also my birthday weekend. A lot of us haven’t seen each other in a while, and it’s a good night out. I spend the entire night confused as to whether these feelings are presenting themselves the way they are because I’m lonely and he’s just a good friend, or whether I genuinely like him. I remember getting home, and going to bed (at 9am, mind you. We party hard.) and crying because of how dumb I was being about the whole thing.

Another month or so passes. Again, I don’t see him. We talk a little bit, but not a lot. I still like him.

The next time I see him, it’s Boxing Day and we’re having a get together at a friends house with our group of close friends. By this point, I’d kind of just given up hope of my feelings ever becoming anything, so I’d pushed them aside to just have a fun evening with my buds. Then I took a cap and that threw that idea out the window. Hello, police officers, I know you’re reading this, but I’m a very touchy feely person when I’m on MDMA. Combined with the fact I’d just gotten over a case of gastro, and the probably lethal amount of alcohol I consumed that night, it was a bad mix. It also didn’t help he was the one who made me drink all that alcohol thanks to a definitely rigged game of “shot pong” but, y’know. I remember laying on the trampoline, side by side, looking at the stars. I was royally fucked, and there was another girl on the tramp with us, but in that moment I just remember leaning into him, feeling comforted. This sounds creepy as fuck, doesn’t it? I’m not a stalker I swear. I also vaguely remember not wearing pants for a lot of the night, wading in a child’s paddling pool, having a trampoline spring catch my inner thigh, and me furiously cuddling my friends dog because no one else was awake to keep me company. So that’s probably a good indication of my state that night. We spent the morning hanging with our friends on the ye olde trampoline, trying with all our might to break the fucker. Trampoline status: still intact. Either way, I got home the next day and my top smelled like him and it made me so fucking annoyed because that night properly cemented the fact that, yep, you’re a fucking loser with a giant crush on a boy.

From this point on, we started talking a bit more regularly, for whatever reason. Maybe it was the fact that we’d shared an emotionally stressful game of beer pong, or maybe it was the fact that I think we might have actually kissed on Boxing Day - I literally can’t remember because I was that drunk but if you’re reading this and do remember, please tell me? I’d love to know, for my archives or whatever. Anyway.

I think it’s mid-January by this point, and I’m still lingering in the “are you my friend, or am I madly obsessed with you” state of mind. We’d been talking pretty regularly, and it’d even gotten to the point where there was what I would call textbook ‘flirting’ between us. Not that this means much, as he’s just a naturally flirtatious person and I’m pretty cheeky when it comes to returning stuff like that, so whatever. Either way these exchanges obviously fuelled my emotions to the point where I couldn’t really attempt to ignore them anymore, so instead I was trying to deal with them. We’re talking one night, he’s out drinking with his friends and then he snaps me, “come pick me up.” I hesitate, but I’ve just had a red bull because I was studying so I’m zazzed to the gods and think, “sure, why not.” I go pick him and his friend up, take them to McDonald’s, do the full ‘designated driver is ashamed to know these drunken idiots’ routine. But the entire time, I’m not blind, it was a flirt fest. I dropped them home, and as soon as I left I distinctly remember saying, “Ah, shit.” in the car on the drive home. I’m a damn fool. He’s got me, and I don’t know what he wants from me, either.

It’s at this part of the story that things get interesting. It’s worth noting that I know I’m not the only girl he’s flirting with at this point. That’s just him. He’s the kind of person that is probably ‘seeing’ several girls at once, and that’s cool. You do you, just don’t lead me on too far. And that’s where things get hazy. Because, when you have feelings for someone, if you are lead on even just the slightest bit, your heart gets dragged further than where it should be. And that’s what happened to me here. You’ll see.

To cut an already long story slightly shorter, we talked a lot more, I eluded to the fact I like him every now and then, we flirt some more, then he said to me “we should go for a drink sometime.” Now, if I’m not mistaken, that to me means let’s go on a date, no? Maybe I misinterpreted this, but this is where I fell. I let my dumb feelings get in the way of being level-headed about it, and I fell. He came over to my house one night, we drink 1.5 litres of Vodka in about 2 hours. About halfway through the bottle, I kiss him. He kisses back. We make out to Adore by Amy Shark. I, filled with my liquid courage, tell him I like him. (I mean duh at this point but whatever.) But his response wasn’t “I like you too” or “but we’re just friends.” It was, “why?” This confuses me at first, because I myself am not even sure. We’re just very similar people, and anyone that can make me happy is a winner, I guess. The night progresses, we do more things, he walks in on me peeing and hands me a watermelon (???), we kiss some more, we go to my bedroom, stuff happens, he vomits in my shower because he drank too much, I sit on the side of the bath teasing him because he’s not pissfit as he’s naked, puking in the shower. I clean him up. We sleep. The next morning, we wake up, cuddle for a bit, he leaves. I’m paraphrasing here because I was still pretty drunk but as he leaves, he says the damning words that lead me to where I am now; “Don’t read into last night. We’re just friends, yeah?”

And then the trail goes cold. We still talk, but not like that. Much. We still flirt, and we still send each other suggestive snapchats every now and then. But it’s not like that. At least, I don’t think it is. And it kills me, because I still really like him as much as I try not to. I’d started to fall, and it’s hard to get yourself back up when you’ve already hanging off the edge of the cliff. And whats even worse is that he knows I like him, and I feel like he might be trying to use that to his advantage. But who knows at this point. As much as I like him, I want to let it go now. It’s been over a year I’ve wasted on this dumb crush. It’s not like it’s stopped me from getting dicked, but I’d like to stop thinking about him every damn time I do. Thanks, brain.

At the end of all this, I still value him as a friend, and this whole thing has definitely brought us closer. I talk to him about stuff I would never talk to others about. I don’t know whether that’s healthy or not, but it happens. Something a bit traumatising happened to me the other week and he was the only one I spoke to about it, so I guess it’s nice we have trust in each other. I dunno what the moral of the story is here. I just needed to blurt out everything I’ve been going over in my head for the past fucking year, I guess. It’s made me sad, it’s made me happy, and it’s made me seriously doubt my worth as a person. Was I stupid to believe that anyone could actually like me in that way? Who knows, all I know it that I’m back on my way to being contently single again, and that my vibrator is still better than any man in the bedroom.

Once again, if you’re reading this, it’s too late. But seriously, don’t think that any of this changes our friendship. This is just me and my over-analytical brain fucking me over. It’s not you. I still don’t blame you for anything. I promise I’m not crazy, sometimes a girls just gotta vent, y’know?

I just looked at my clock and I spent 2 hours writing that bit about the boy. Wow okay. Time for me to fuck off this website until I’m feeling sad and reflective again. Bye.

#personal #mega personal #blog #boys suck buy a hitachi

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liz27moore · 8 years ago

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Citing Podcasts and Websites

Over winter break I saw a capital Beyoncé meme that said, “If you liked it, you should have put a citation on it,” which made me laugh and reminded me of this listener question:

Hi, Grammar Girl. My name is Laura and I am a teacher of 9th-grade English and a big fan of your podcast. I've used your podcast in my classroom and the Quick and Dirty Tips definitely come in handy. My question is how do I cite your podcast and podcasts in general? Do you know of a website that keeps really up to date on how to cite things, especially citing things from the Web?

Thanks, Laura. All three of the major academic style players, the Modern Language Association (MLA), the American Psychological Association (APA), and The Chicago Manual of Style, have issued guidelines on how to cite electronic sources.

The Purdue Online Writing Lab, affectionately known as OWL, has a huge 12-page chart that compares all the different citation types for all three styles. It looks like it was last update in 2014, so I checked all the current styles for citing websites and podcasts and made a small chart with examples:

APA (6th edition)

Podcast Episode

Fogarty, M. (Host). (2017, January 19). Citing podcasts and websites [Audio podcast]. Retrieved from http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/citing-podcasts-and-websites

Web Page

Fogarty, M. (2017, January 19). Citing podcasts and websites. Retrieved from http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/citing-podcasts-and-websites

CMS (16th edition)

Podcast Episode

Fogarty, Mignon. “Citing Podcasts and Websites.” Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing, podcast audio. January 19, 2017. http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/citing-podcasts-and-websites.

Web Page

Fogarty, Mignon. “Citing Podcasts and Websites.” Quick and Dirty Tips. January 19, 2017. Accessed January 25, 2017. http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/citing-podcasts-and-websites

Note 1: The Chicago Manual of Style (16th ed, 14.7) says access dates are not required in Chicago style unless a publication date is unavailable, but it notes that teachers often require students to include an access date in citations. If the access date is included, it comes immediately after the publication date.

Note 2: I was confused about this for a while, so I’ll mention it here to save you time. Chicago puts the last name first in bibliographic entries, but the last name second in numbered notes. Further, items in notes are separated by commas, whereas items in bibliophilic entries are separated by periods. Many of the Chicago examples in sections related to podcasts and websites are formatted as notes and not bibliographic entries.

MLA (8th edition)

Podcast Episode

Fogarty, Mignon. “Citing Podcasts and Websites.” Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing, ep. 552, January 19, 2017, www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/citing-podcasts-and-websites

Web Page

Fogarty, Mignon. “Citing Podcasts and Websites.” Quick and Dirty Tips, Macmillan Holdings, LLC, January 19, 2017, www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/citing-podcasts-and-websites

Why Citations Are Important

First, people have asked me why it's important to include citations in the first place.

Aside from the fact that many teachers or editors require you to include citations in your work, including citations is necessary to acknowledge the people whose work you've incorporated into your document. Not including citations is a quick route to plagiarism: more commonly known as taking credit for someone else's words or ideas. Including citations is mandatory when you've drawn on someone else's original work or quoted someone verbatim.

Even when citations aren't necessary to avoid plagiarism, including citations helps people who want to learn more about your topic. Citations are a great starting point for further research. And including citations adds credibility to your writing. Frankly, I include citations at the end of most of my transcripts to head off people who disagree with my recommendations relating to points of style or topics where there are common misconceptions. I'm completely open to disagreement and discussion, but I don't just make this stuff up; I research every topic I cover. I'm almost always sorry when I don't include references on the website, and more than once, especially in the early years, I've gone back, reconstructed my work, and added them later.

Risks of Citing Electronic Sources

OK, so now that I've convinced you to include citations, it's time to think about the special risks of citing an electronic source like a website, podcast, or blog.

First, you have to determine whether it's a credible source, and second, you have to worry about whether it will still exist tomorrow.

Credibility

Determining whether a source is credible is subjective, but here are a few things to look for and consider:

Can you tell who wrote the site? And if so, does the author seem to have any expertise in the area you are researching? The Stanford Cancer Center is likely to be a more credible source than Aunt Mary's Kancer Page.

What are the credentials (or at least the stated credentials) of the author? I might take Aunt Mary more seriously if she is a board certified oncologist practicing at a well-known hospital or university.

Can you tell when the page you are looking at was written? All else being equal, something written recently is generally more credible than something that hasn't been updated in years.

Does the page cite other credible sources you can check? (There's that point about citations adding credibility again!)

Does it sound too good to be true? If it does, it probably is.

Is the site selling something based on the information it’s providing? If so, be wary.

Do other credible sites link to the site? Many online tools let you see what sites link to other sites and pages. One free tool is the site explorer at moz.com.

Are there a lot of typos? If there are a lot of language mistakes, it can mean that there are a lot of factual mistakes, too.

Finally, use common sense and evaluate the arguments yourself. It's up to you to determine whether a site's conclusions are actually supported by its statements.

Permanence

You have control when you’re evaluating a site’s credibility, but you have less control over the fact that pages might disappear or change their Web address. If it's an important source, you should consider printing out the page or saving it on your own computer as HTML, a screenshot, or an audio or video file. If you find that a Web page is gone and you haven't had a chance to save it, you can search for a copy at the Internet Archive (also known as the Wayback Machine), at http://archive.org.

Despite the risks, an abundance of credible information resides on the Web, and you shouldn't dismiss a source simply because it is in an electronic format. The style guides let you cite live events you attended, which other people are much less likely to be able to revisit than a website or podcast. So cite away! Beyoncé would want you to do it.

Sources

“Citations of website content.” Chicago Manual of Style, sixteenth edition, 14.245.

“Online magazine articles.” Chicago Manual of Style, sixteenth edition, 14.200.

“Published or broadcast interviews.” Chicago Manual of Style, sixteenth edition, 14.221.

“Works Cited: A Quick Guide.” MLA Style Center. https://style.mla.org/works-cited-a-quick-guide/ (accessed January 16, 2017).

Gibson, Angela. “URLs: Some Practical Advice.” MLA Style Center. https://style.mla.org/2016/11/02/urls-some-practical-advice/ (accessed January 16, 2016).

Lee, Chelsea. “How to Cite Something You Found on a Website in AP A Style.” APA Style. November 18, 2010. http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2010/11/how-to-cite-something-you-found-on-a-website-in-apa-style.html (accessed January 16, 2016).

(Note: We use a house style for fomatting sources.)

This article was originally published April 11, 2008 and updated January 18, 2017.

from Grammar Girl RSS http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/citing-podcasts-and-websites

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buddy31salvo · 8 years ago